Tints and Shades

At first, it was all dark. Well, as dark as black and shades of grey can be. You see, back then, color didn't exist. It was kind of confusing. Everyone looked all the same. I was a shade of grey about twenty percent black and the rest white but so was Krg, and so was Krg's sister Miie, and so was-well, you probably get the point. It didn't help things either that when you stood still enough you practically blended into the background. We were tripping all over each other and rocks and whatnot. But still everyone thought it was okay. I guess it was okay, not great though, especially not after what happened later on, but I'll get to that.
You know, there was this one guy named Hszi, and he never liked me but he'd always hang around me. I think he liked micromanaging my life or something. It must've made him feel important.
So one day he's trailing along behind me as I decided to wander past some grey chunk of rock or the other when suddenly I get the weirdest feeling. It felt like someone was watching me; I could feel an intent stare, you know that weird tingly feeling you get when someone does that to you. I stopped so quick he almost bumped into me. I thought it might be him but it was coming from the wrong direction.
"What are you doing?" He said, annoyed. I looked where I had felt it coming from, but whatever it was had disappeared.
"Nothing; just standing here." I didn't want to tell him that there had been some phantom starer around; people already thought I was crazy.
Lately I had been having these dreams; nightmares more like. Scared the hell out of me, except I don't know if they were dreams or not. The nights here are so dark if you open your eyes or have them closed it doesn't make much difference, but my nights have been filled with something less dark.

The night it all started I couldn't sleep even though everything was nice and calm. I could hear Uncle Rrgk snoring up a storm but I was far enough away it didn't bother me. Instead I just sat back and wondered.
Our stories are filled with monsters, things that creep from places beyond our borders. Our own lands had been emptied of them long ago by The Great Grey Arc, or at least that's what the oldtimers told us. It came from the sky and sent them packing. I had often wondered what they looked like, and sometimes I drew them when I was younger, but nobody liked that so eventually I stopped. But I never stopped imagining.
It was hard for someone who had never seen color to try and imagine it. As far as we were all concerned, we were colorblind and that was how it was meant to be. It felt almost exciting being a heretic. I wasn't ready for what I saw though. It was like my dreams came to life and I started asking myself as to whether or not being a secret heretic was such a good idea.
I guess with all that thinking I must have fallen asleep (or maybe not, it's hard to tell), but I saw something. Or several somethings.
It scared me at first. I tried to stay as still as possible as it passed by, pretending to be asleep, but it lit up the world with…I didn't even know, I had never seen anything like it before. The darkness went away and all I could see was this riot. It hurt my eyes but I couldn't stop looking.
One saw me and giggled. The others seemed to be laughing at the same joke too but shushed this one pretty loudly. They drifted over to me; I say drifted because they were so light they were standing on all my friends and relatives without so much as causing them to scratch in irritation. They stared at me, just as curious as I was terrified of them.
One said something to another (I think there were three; I couldn't understand anything) and reached out to touch me. I didn't really have any place to go but I tried backing up and ended up toppling over my sister Kqeln and yelling and that started a chain reaction. She woke up and grumbled darkly at me, I think she called me a klutz, but we were packed in so tightly that that little movement woke everyone up. I looked to see where the weird things were, but they were gone. Maybe it had been a freaky dream after all.
"Tyl, you idiot! Now look what you've done!" Sleepy children began to cry and everything. I was pretty embarrassed. Lucky it was so dark; I couldn't see anyone glaring at me.
I think I stepped on about five people's faces as everyone tried to settle back down to sleep. I climbed a tall rock (probably a stupid thing in the dark, but I knew it well) and sat there, staring at nothing. I wanted them to come back, but not. I couldn't even decide. Some part of me, the Grey or Black or White part I guess, well it screamed "NO!" and curled itself into the fetal position in the back of my head. But the longer they didn't show up again, the more I wanted to see them. I suffered from what my relatives called a 'deplorable curiosity', always testing boundaries (and people's patience). They didn't show up again that night. I just lay there with my forbidden thoughts.
Gfwl (he's our oldest oldtimer) called me to the Shrine of the Arc the next day because I had 'acted out' again, no surprise there. I came here often but not as much as I used to. Whoever decorated it had no sense of taste, that's for sure, tossing quadrilaterals here and throwing in a sprinkling of isosceles triangles. As I child I had taken it upon myself to do some redecorating, spruce the place up a bit. Of course that didn't go very well. It had taken days for them to rub out my marks and if I squinted I thought I could still see some. Boy was my behind ever sore afterwards.
So Gfwl looks at me and gives me one of his 'productive member of society' talks. I don't even listen anymore but I know my cues to nod, but that day I guess I missed a few and he saw I was more distracted then usual. I know the guy was just looking out for well being, but I'm still not sure for whose benefit it would have been in.
"Tyl, you are not listening, my child." He always said 'my child'. I think he thought it made him sound fancy.
"I'm sorry, headache." I mumbled, trying to BS some excuse so he would hurry up and finish his spiel. He wasn't convinced.
"Tell me, what happened last night?" I insisted it was nothing.
"You must be careful, my child, demons will often ensnare the minds of those weak of will." He looked at me and I think he was genuinely worried. "Pray to the Great Grey Arc and it will protect you." Gfwl dismissed me without even finishing. I was surprised. Of course, it didn't do anything to stop the visits. More and more often they happened; people got to be pretty scared of me. I don't know why these Lights (what I decided to call them) made me act the way I did when I was trying to sleep, or why they chose to bother me but they did.

Anyway, Hszi was busy being his bastard of a self and got snooty with me. He put on this real high-and-mighty tone just to say why? Of all the words best suited for that treatment, I didn't see that 'why' was one of them.
"No reason. Do I need a reason for everything?"
"There's no sense standing there if you don't have a reason." I shrugged and kept moving. The tingly feeling came again but this time I didn't stop. Hszi would probably run back to Gfwl and have me tied up or something for 'suspicious behavior'. Miserable bastard. At this point I think they were looking for reasons to get me out of their sight, at least to get some good night's sleep.
Even so I decided to toss a random wall in his way.
"Hey Hszi, you think things will ever change?"
"Huh? What do you mean 'change?'" He stumbled over the word a bit like he was tasting it and finding it not too terribly palatable.
"I mean like…I dunno, the world isn't grey anymore. Or black. Or whatever." He frowned.
"Why would it do that? It's perfectly fine-" then he stubbed his toe and yelped, but I gave him some credit, he did finish his sentence "-the way it is."
"Why?"
"Why not? You ask stupid questions." I didn't see how that was a stupid question at all, but then again I was the one who asked it.
Hszi limped a bit (putting on a bit of dramatics no doubt) after me.
"See, if things weren't the same, you wouldn't have done that. You would have been able to see it and avoid it."
"That's not true, I would have done it anyway." I'll skip the next part because we got into a pretty boring argument about probability. Somehow we ended up at the conclusion that he knew the thing was there but allowed himself to stub his toe anyway. He's always been a good BSer. He smiled like he won a trophy or something.
I tried to imagine the path using 'color', pretending wherever I stepped my footprints made bright splashes on the ground; you know, I like that word now but I was unsure of it then. I had walked this path so many times the same exact way. Nothing ever changed. It was dull.
I knew this place well. Too well. It never struck me how well I knew it. I did a complete one eighty then. I used to love walking that path but now that I got to look at it, I mean, really look at it, I began to hate it. I looked at the intricate traceries of other paths intertwined with this one and wondered where they would take me if I followed.
"Has anyone ever been out past this place?"
"You know when they do they never come back. Only madmen like you can go and return. Or like old Guld, remember him? The monsters must take pity on your kind, or you must taste foul to them because he came back."
I looked out at the expanse beyond. Were my dreams the result of some madness? I decided then that even if they were, it was a good kind of madness.

After so many nights of pretending to be asleep at the approach of the Lights, I gave up. I think they were startled to see me 'awake', or maybe they knew I had been pretending the whole time. I'm a notoriously bad liar.
They were unafraid and I had mustered up some courage to at least pretend to be unafraid, but again, bad liar.
We stared at each other with only Uncle Rrgk's snores breaking the silence. It seemed like forever. One said something to me but I tried to say or mime that I didn't understand. For a moment she hung there puzzled, then finally pointed to herself: "Red", she said. I pointed back. "Red?" The word sounded odd to my ears. She smiled and nodded.
"Blue!" Another introduced herself, "Violet" the last one said, smiling shyly.
I pointed to myself. "Tyl."
"Tea-yul." She seemed to have some difficulty with my name.
"Tyl." I said again.
"Teal." She said, close enough. They giggled. Red beckoned me forward and held out her hand. That moment would have been magical and I probably would have left way before I was finally able to when Hszi, by some damnation of fate or luck, woke up just as we touched hands.
I admit, the touch did hurt and I drew away. I felt so bad, I think I hurt her feelings. She definitely looked hurt. But she and the others didn't have much time to think before Hszi started screaming like a madman.
"Demons! Demons in our village!" That scared the hell out of everyone and there was more tripping and stepping on each other that night then in any other. Nobody died but a lot of people broke things.
As for me, my hand felt like it was full of pins and needles and it hurt so much I was afraid to look at it when morning came around like it was going to fall off or it was diseased. I guess, in a way, it had been diseased.
I tried to crawl away to hide but Gfwl knew all of my hiding places except for one which, like an idiot, I didn't use. In the morning he had Kniok and Drj drag me out of my crevice.
They pried my hand open and if there was a sickly shade of grey, they certainly turned it. I didn't want to look but I did. There on my hand was a patch of 'color'. I wanted to look and wonder at it but at the same time I was kind of dismayed. Seeing it on someone else and imagining it were completely different then having it appear on you. It reminded me of Blue, but it was much lighter, maybe mixed with a hint of a Light I didn't meet until much later (by that I mean after all this was sorted out; her name is Green). As far as everyone else was concerned, I had sprouted six heads and was talking backwards. They recoiled from me.
"They have poisoned him!" Gfwl bellowed dramatically. "Only the Great Grey Arc may save him now."
I wasn't sure if I wanted to be saved, but I didn't like that weird splotch on my hand either. I let them cart me away to the Shrine.

Within the walls there was a flurry of activity, mainly involving much consulting of books. Gfwl was obsessed with telling me that if the 'color' (and he even said the word like poison) reached my heart I would surely die. I didn't believe him. I thought poison made you cold and this was definitely doing the opposite.
They tried all sorts of unpleasant things; bleeding me, giving me foul mixtures, beating me while forcing me to recite the Vibgyor. It was something like I'd imagine torture to be. After a few days I began to wonder if what old Gfwl said was true, at least the 'surely die' part.
I wanted to hate the splotch and the Lights, but, to use a bad pun, it was growing on me. Sometimes in the dark I would stare at it giving off its soft light and allowing me to see in the dark. I loved how it bounced off of a curve here and an angle there, but there was nothing quite like seeing a face lit up with hints of the 'color' in all of its varying degrees. A quick move of my hand could make someone seem sinister or innocent. I liked doing it to Gfwl when he came in even though he pursed his lips in disapproval. By that time though, it had nearly traveled up the entire length of my arm. It was slightly annoying when I tried to sleep.
"You will die soon." He told me. "It is creeping ever nearer to your heart. Make peace with the Great Grey Arc and allow it into your soul." But I never did.
In fact, with my glowing appendage I decided to do some exploring, to hell with all this talk of hearts and souls. I could see in places others could not. I figured if I was going to die, why not at least make some use of it to satisfy my 'deplorable curiosity'?
I'll admit my explorations were not all that interesting. My travels were full of sleeping scholars that never saw the lightening times of day (and I still think they could see in the dark) moldy old books that didn't hold much interest for me, and dust. I was amazed at how much dust a place could have.
One night, though, I did something really stupid.
The statue of the Great Grey Arc had always seemed weird to me, like it was hiding something. I was expecting more a secret compartment or lever, not what I actually found.
Anyway, I started tapping the thing. I'm not sure what I was looking for except I heard that if something goes 'tink' rather then 'thunk' it might have some secret to it. So I'm tapping and tapping but I jam my finger onto some sharp piece of flaking stuff and it cuts me under my nail. I cursed, quietly, and I sucked on it a bit, but it made me wonder why the statue is peeling. If it's peeling there must be something under it, at least that's what my mind said, so I rubbed at it and sent flakes flying everywhere. I forgot to breathe for a while after I saw it, but what I uncovered just turned me on my head. It was no 'Great Grey Arc', it was colored.
This was the truth of things. Gfwl had been lying to me, to everyone our whole lives. My arm was no longer such a disability. Here was proof that color was not the evil we thought. It had always been there, hidden, just waiting for a fool like me to cut myself on it by accident.
My wonderment didn't last very long. Gfwl must have awoken after having my light in his face. He always slept near the statue. We both started in surprise for a moment. I had just laid bare his most…colorful secret.
"He has defiled the Shrine!" Gfwl dropped to his knees and prostrated himself in fear. It was probably one of the most stupid things I've ever done in my life, but I ran. I didn't even look to see if I had pursuers; I didn't have to. This time I managed to shake them off in the rocky hills and made use of my final hiding place. So I wouldn't reveal myself in the crevice I hid in I had to crouch awkwardly with my arm cradled beneath me. I let out the breath I forgot I had been holding.
Now what?  I had no idea what to do with myself. Gfwl would kill me if I returned, either saying my possession was too far gone and it would be more merciful to kill me and end my 'suffering' or else say I couldn't be saved and give some sob story about how I died finally in the grace of the Arc.
So I just lay back and thought.
I remembered what Hszi had said to me about those paths beyond our borders that none had traveled: "Only madmen like you can go and return." Too proud to beg, they demanded feet to discover their intricate natures. I began to wonder; maybe my feet could do that, take up their call. I was already dead to my family and the other villagers. I would not be missed.
It made me finally realize what the Lights wanted of me. They had made me go mad for a reason. If only madmen could go to that place beyond what we all knew, then maybe I had a chance. I wasn't like these people, these 'Shades'.
Then as if that were the chant of a spell, I heard her laughter again. I was a man dying of thirst in the desert and her voice was the precious gift of water. Red was with me.
"Teal! Teal!"
Again her hand was out but this time I feared no sting of the unknown. Where our hands met they made a different color and it made me happier then I had ever been. Drunk, even.
No longer did the Lights hold any fear for me. They knew the way across the border and I was ready. Blue and Violet giggled and smiled, holding on to me and drawing me upward. With their help I floated, just as delicately, dancing across the earth. I felt lighter and lighter until I didn't need their help anymore. When we reached the border, we skipped across, all of us laughing. I belonged here. I was Tyl, Tea-yul. Teal.